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Anger Management

What is Anger Management?

Specifically, Anger management is about knowing the things that trigger us and developing techniques to calm down and manage the situation before it gets out of control.


Tips to help manage anger

Identify your triggers and warning signs of anger.

  • Make a list of the things that can set off your anger. If you know ahead of time what makes you angry, you may be able to avoid these things when they get triggered.  

  • Try to notice the warning signs of anger in your body. Be aware of the things that happen to your body that say you are getting angry (heart racing, sweating, tense jaw, tight chest or fists or gritting your teeth). The earlier you can recognise these warning signs the better you will be at staying calm.

  •  Control your thinking. When you're angry, your thinking can get exaggerated and irrational. Try replacing these kinds of thoughts with more useful, rational ones. For example, instead of telling yourself ‘I can't stand it, it's wrong and everything's ruined', tell yourself ‘It's annoying and frustrating, and  it's understandable that I'm upset. However it's not the end of the world.

  • Develop things to say to yourself before, during and after situations that may trigger an angry response. It is more useful if these things focus on how you are managing the situation rather than dictating what other people should be doing. We call this type of thinking ‘self-talk'.

Try saying things like:

  • ‘I'll be able to handle this. It could be rough, but I have a plan.

  • During the episode self-talk such as ‘Stay calm, I'm OK, s/he's not attacking me personally. ‘I can look and act calmly.'

  • What can I learn from this event is also useful.

  • Remember to breathe easily and slowly.

  • If you feel your anger getting out of control, take time out from the situation or argument. Try stepping out of the situation and going for a walk. Before you go, remember to make time to talk about the situation later when everyone involved has calmed down. During a time out, plan how you are going to stay calm when your conversation resumes.

  •  Acknowledge to yourself and others that a particular issue has made you feel angry. Expressing to someone how you feel when they did or said something is more helpful than just acting out the anger. However be aware of not dumping your anger on those closest to you like family and friends or even your pets etc.

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