I am often asked how can spiritual guidance help me or my Teen? My answer would be something like this:
Thomas Moore the writer of the best selling book Care of the Soul stated that "all of our problems personal and social are due to a loss of Soul".
"There are many personal reasons for seeking spiritual guidance. Whatever the reason, the gentle art of spiritual guidance is simply and profoundly this: Holding the space for another to come into deeper relationship with their Real True Nature, God, the Absolute, the Ground of Being ~ and to manifest that deepening in their lives". ~ Janet Quinn
Some of us long for a safe space to explore the deepest questions of our lives, questions about Who we are, God, Spirit, Ultimate Reality, meaning and purpose and our life's calling. It is not therapy we are after, but something with a larger context. It isn’t that we need to be fixed, but rather heard, held in a sacred space of unconditional love and trusted to find our own deep connection with Spirit. It is not so much that we are looking for the ultimate answer – it is more that we just need a place where we can be heard; where we can hear ourselves; where someone will help us notice the movement of Spirit within our ordinary lives and listen for the wisdom and guidance available from within our own deep heart. We, seek a soul-friend, to guide us on this, our most important journey. This work is important for many Teens and is at the core of most of there difficulties my role is to provide a space where teens can be heard and gain insight into there life Journey.
Perhaps we are called to spiritual guidance because, for many, the state of our life requires investigation and response, but discerning what is a true response, a response that comes from our true nature and not our egoic needs, wounds and habits, is a tricky business. We need the support of someone who can help us discern carefully, heartfully, soulfully, listening with us for what some would call the True, the Good and the Beautiful.
Spiritual growth is Learning to Love and Accept yourself for who you truly are and Trusting and Respecting yourself fully and completely. Realize your True Essence of Unconditional Love and Individual Freedom.
Some of the Questions we may work through in our sessions together include:
Four Ways to Make Your Teen Feel Valued
1. Make sure there is structure and rules. Structure says, "You are the one I am concerned about…and I value you enough to work with you and love you through the times you step out of line." Discipline is all about them, and even though no teen outwardly likes it, it says you value them enough to help them.
2. Ask questions and collaborate with them.
When parents convey that what their teen has to say is important, it conveys value. Often Parents share their opinions of events with teens because they don't want teens to make the same mistakes they did. However it is better to offer your wisdom only when they ask. So, be sure to talk with your teen and do so mostly with your eyes and ears.
3. Give grace.
Grace is an act of kindness. It is offering them something that's undeserved. It affirms them with a message that says, "I love you when you are doing well, but I will also love you when you aren't." I recommend that all parents memorize this key statement: "There is nothing you can do to make me love you more. And there is nothing you can do to make me love you any less." Share it with your teens on a regular basis. . You cannot deliver this message to your teen too often. They need to hear it every day.
4. Give of your time.
If you are giving your valuable time to your teen, they'll feel important and valued., the most often mentioned desire of teen girls is, "I want more time with my dad." They want time together, even if they don't act like they do. Whether you are a mum or a dad, take your teen to lunch, grab a snack after school, attend all games or school events, find things you can do together, and communicate with them online. Send daily text messages to say "Hi" or "I love you." Make sure your teen knows your desire to be involved in his or her life. Do it, or they'll seek validation from someone else, and that can lead to bigger problems than you ever want to have with your teen.
Here is the bottom line…it's important for your teen to know that they needn't look or act a specific way, or perform at a certain level in order to maintain your love. Your relationship with them won't stop if they mess up, and your love will survive tough times. Having a relationship that offers significance and value means remaining involved in their daily life and accepting their growing need for independence.
For all of us, value and security comes from knowing we are valued by our family. Your teen needs to sense that they "belong" and are valued regardless of what they do. Giving a sense of value is the most valuable gift you'll ever give your children…and it's free!
Why have you chosen to be here now?
What is your Vision, Purpose and Mission?
How do you get in your own way?
What obstacles are you choosing that impede you from realizing your true Vision?
How must you choose differently to realize your vision in this lifetime?
How do I learn to look deeply into myself, so I will have the opportunity to consciously choose the path of Love, Peace, Joy, Freedom and Abundance, rather than unconsciously choose fear, lack and mistrust.
Spiritual questions that I might address with parents could be:
Does your teenager feel valued and significant in your home? If not, they'll look for value and acceptance somewhere else. There are plenty of people who can make them feel valued, but mostly from the wrong crowd and with the wrong motives.
Does your teen feel and experience your unconditional love, your life experience, your time, and your wisdom. Each of these builds value. Being valued makes a teenager feel like they belong; they are accepted and they are therefore at peace with the world. Being valued builds their self-esteem and helps them have the confidence to say "No" to their peers. Being valued helps a teenager want to maintain their own sense of value and not accept anything less.